she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
