I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just invented taco cereal.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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