is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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