I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
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SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder