I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream