Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water