My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
