he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
