I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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