life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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