i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
two words: eviction party
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
