i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize