just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
