What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
