I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
