2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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