GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
