hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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