remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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