She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
