Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
