Screwed.edu
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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