His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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