you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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