Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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