Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize