Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
