I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize