You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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