he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
