went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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