his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
