ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize