At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize