Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
