ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
