I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
