Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
