Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
