I feel great
I just peed on a car
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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