i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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