I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
