I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
