So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
