dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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