I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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