How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
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