i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
