so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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