super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
