sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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