I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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