Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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