it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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