So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize