what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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