i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize