I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
