I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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