And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
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She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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