Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
foreskin is a definite game changer
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!