He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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