That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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