he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize